My kitchen is a mess.
The groceries haven’t been put away from our trip to the store this morning, the sink is full of dirty dishes and the floor has needed a good scrub since… well, to be honest, I can’t remember the last time I scrubbed the floor. The dishes could go in the dishwasher, but at the moment it’s full of the clean dishes I’ve yet to put away. I’ve been busy, you know, taking care of kids and stuff.
The rest of the house is about the same (or worse) and right now, I have the perfect opportunity to clean because both of my boys are actually napping at the same time.
But I’m not going to.
Because I don’t want to.
Simple as that.
I have no explanation to give and I’m not going to try to defend my decision. Some may call it laziness and that’s totally fine with me, but is it lazy or smart? I’ll let you decide.
Because the way I used to clean the house when my oldest son was first born, you would’ve thought that I was preparing for a visit from Joanna Gaines herself. Or maybe Supernanny, because Lord knows I could use her help, like, yesterday. Everything had to be cleaned up right now or I would look around the house and feel completely overwhelmed. Plus, messes just put me in a bad mood. So I would clean and clean… no visitors came, but yet I cleaned. I realized that I wasn’t cleaning in preparation for visitors; I was pretty much doing it for myself.
What the heck?
So I have a few minutes here and there for myself and I’m spending them cleaning for people who never actually come? Yep, there I go right off the deep end.
So I decided that if I’m going to do something for myself, it’s going to be something that brings me joy and makes me happy. And that’s why I’m writing this at this very moment. Because I’m realizing more and more every day, how much I love writing. And whether I get an hour for myself each day or whether I get a few minutes, that time is sure as heck not going to be spent cleaning.
So here I am, surrounded by a house full of messes, and giving myself permission to just let it all be dirty. And I’m not even in a bad mood about it. Because for the first time since I became a mom, I’m truly seeing how important it is to put myself first sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes.
And I think you should to.