I never realized what a needy person I was until I got married and had kids. Scratch that…… I never realized what a needy person I was until I had kids…… and then had to stay at home with them. It’s amazing how you totally take for granted something as simple as talking to another adult. I actually kinda feel sorry for the people I see on a regular basis (i.e. my husband and my mom) because I totally and completely ramble. I catch myself telling a story and in my head I’m actually telling myself to shut up because even I’m tired of hearing myself talk, but for some reason I just keep going. I think it’s my brain reminding me that tomorrow when my husband leaves for work, it’s back to Paw Patrol and tractors.
I’ve always said that it takes a special type of person to be a nurse and I believe that 100 percent. The longer I stay at home I’m starting to believe that it takes a special type of person to be a stay at home mom and I’m not sure I fit the bill. There’s something about it that’s just…… boring, but not boring in the way you would think. There’s no down time or time for hobbies (or for you to even think about what your hobbies are) or to sit down. Unless of course you’re sitting down to build a spaceship with blocks or going to the bathroom (with an audience, that is).
You’re constantly busy because there’s always cleaning, laundry, meal planning, cleaning, grocery shopping, dinner prep and cleaning. Did I mention cleaning? Because I’m pretty sure I could make a career of just sweeping our floors. Seriously, where do all the little dust bunnies and crumbs come from? Anyway, it’s not that I’m bored and sitting around just twirling my thumbs. It’s more of a mental boredom. The house work is so mundane, it’s the same thing every week. It’s give, give, give and there’s no one there to pat you on the back or give you a high five and tell you you’re doing a great job. When I worked at Hobby Lobby, I knew that doing A, B and C would make me successful at my job. I was by the book and tried to get what my manager needed before he even knew he needed it. At home, I only wish there was a book so I would feel like I knew what the heck I was doing half the time. But hey, both of my kids are alive at the moment, so does that qualify as successful?