I know it seems mean, but I have to. I have no choice. You see, my mom likes cards. And notes. And letters. For years she’s never wanted anything for her birthday or Christmas or Mother’s Day, just a little note or letter. So after years of pouring my heart out about how amazing she is, there’s nothing I could say that hasn’t been said a million times. So I’m taking a different route this year and making a list of her flaws. Here we go.
She never puts herself first. And I mean, like, ever. I don’t know that I can think of a time in my entire life where my mom actually put her needs above my own. When we were young, she chauffeured us around to practices and games…. heck, she even came to every single cross-country meet (some in the pouring down rain) to watch me finish dead last every. single. time (hey, I wasn’t going for a world record or anything, I was just trying to keep in shape for basketball). To this day, she’s never missed an opportunity to support me. Ask any of my three sisters and I know they’ll tell you the same.
Her cooking is too good. When my husband and I were dating, he ate a lot of meals at my parent’s house. Great for him, bad for me. I don’t think my fried chicken will ever taste like hers and I cannot for the life of me make the dang gravy that goes with it. It’s actually become kind of a joke now: “Dinner’s ready. Here’s your fried chicken with flour paste on top” (totally not kidding, ask my husband). She makes the most delicious meals and puts them together by ‘just eyeballing’ the ingredients. How do I even compete with that?
She is way too unselfish. My mom was never a sports kinda gal. That is, until she married my dad. She told me once that she just learned to like sports because he did. He played them, watched them on TV and talked about them (I know, I felt really sorry for her too, but it ended up working out in her favor because she ended up with four athletic daughters). This gets me though because I’ve totally been there and I just couldn’t do it. My husband has been a Browns fan since birth and I just. can’t. commit. Roll my eyes when my husband thinks they’re actually going to win? Absolutely. Make sarcastic remarks all throughout the game and after they lose? Gotcha covered.
This plan seemed to work We were in unspoken agreement that it would be better if he would just watch the games alone. So you can see why in my opinion, this alone makes my mom a total keeper. Do you know how hard it is to make yourself interested in something? That is love, my friends.
She doesn’t see in herself what other’s see in her. Oh my. We’d be here forever if I had to list every good quality my mom has, so let’s just do this… think of a trait. Is it good? Okay, then my mom has it. One that has always stood out to me the most is her thoughtfulness. No, wait. I mean, her empathy. We’ll call it a tie because my mom is hands down the most thoughtful and empathetic person I know. She just has some crazy way of knowing what you need when you need it…. sometimes I’m convinced that she really can read minds.
I’ve felt that more and more, especially since I’ve become a mom. Many times she just makes things happen and then lets me know it’s happening, whether it’s taking the kids while I’m sick or just getting an evening alone with my husband. And it’s not because she’s pushy and overbearing… it’s because she knows that I need it, but would never ask. Mind reader, I tell ya.
Her thoughtfulness shows in the little things… and the big. My oldest sister played on the varsity basketball team in high school and at the end of their season, my mom cross-stitched plaques for every, single girl on the team. The plaques had their name and jersey number, along with their stats for that year. Go big or go home, right? I remember watching her make them and I can’t tell you how many hours she put into them, but I can tell you from experience that one hour of cross-stitching feels like a hundred. The funny thing is, you mention any of these things to her and she just shrugs them off like the majority of the population is just bending over backwards to take care of others. I don’t have any hard statistics or anything, I just know that I see a lot of mean, selfish people.
She sets the bar too high. When my oldest son was born, I would run myself ragged trying to adjust to life with a newborn baby and I constantly thought of my mom. If she could do it with four girls, then I should totally be able to handle one, right? On top of that, my dad was gone a lot. I’m talking gone as in months at a time. (Side note: I should clarify that he was gone for work, not just because he wanted to be gone. But now that I think about it, for all we know he took a three-month vacation to Europe in order to get away from all the estrogen in the house. I’ll have to look into that.)
The point is that my mom spent a lot of time as a single mom. There were so many times she had to play the role of mom and dad. When my sisters and I were younger, we moved to Virginia. No biggie, right? People move all the time. Oh yeah… did I mention that we lived in a hotel for an entire month before we found a house? Yep, that was my mom at 33 just livin’ the dream… with her newborn baby and seven, five and three year old daughters. Not sure what her actual dreams were for her life at that point, but I’m 100% sure it wasn’t that. Just the thought of living with my sons in a hotel room for a month makes me break out in hives and I have no idea how my mom didn’t just drop us off on someone’s doorstep in the middle of the night.
My mom is the oldest of six kids and there’s a thirteen year difference between her and her youngest sister, so she’s pretty much been ‘mothering’ her entire life. The old saying is that ‘practice makes perfect’ and while I know no one is perfect, she gets pretty darn close. I just have one question for you, Mom… will you move in with me and raise my kids so I don’t completely screw them up?
One more little side note, then I promise I’ll stop… on top of listing her flaws, I also posted a picture of her which she will absolutely hate (don’t you love that I have a blog, Mom?). I just want to point out a few things about this picture: my mom couldn’t find anything to wear to my wedding, so she made her own dress. Seriously, just whipped it right up like it was nothing. That’s right, on top of everything else she’s super crafty and I swear she can make just about anything.
Also, less than a week before our wedding my mom was trying to fix my dress because someone (cough, David’s Bridal, cough, cough) didn’t alter it correctly and there wasn’t enough time for another fitting (I’m sorry. I know I have a hard time letting go of things, but it was like throwing $200 down the drain!). Anyone who has ever gotten married knows how crazy life gets the week before the wedding. We had a million things to do and fixing a wedding dress is no joke, but she did it because she knew I wanted it to be perfect. And it was.
Happy Mother’s Day to the mom with the most amazing flaws.